(i)nsecurity.
I heard 2Pac talk about it in that last movie his mom n ‘nem put out. To hear someone like that talk about being insecure seemed somehow comforting. I’ve read abut Churchill, Napoleon, Socrates and people like Meth talk about it…Johnny Blaze? Churchill? It’s interesting how insecurity manifests itself in different people. I’ve noticed it a lot in women, specifically women I have dated in the past, who were all very bright, attractive, hard working people. Despite all their attributes and accomplishments they were still very insecure people inside. I started this post because of yesterday’s revelation that I am slim. Actually its not a revelation. I have been slim my entire life. Being slim is a unique position to be in. Because you are slim people feel free to remind you of it on a regular basis. I can’t imagine walking up to someone eating a value meal and saying, “That’s why you are fat”. But people feel free to walk up to me eating marinated veggies and a tofu salad sandwich and say… “that’s why you are skinny”…with that semi-disgusted, lip turned up, look on their face. I have been slim my entire life…even when I was eating dead cow steaks and pig ear sandwiches with my favorite uncle. There is this vague sense of what size everyone should be. My daughter used to be slim, everyone used to say she need to be bigger…give her some junk food. No she’s bigger than THE size that I guess they had in mind, now they’re sitting back sucking their teeth…at a child. I will never fully understand American society. This society seems to be fueled by a collective insecurity that someone might look, think or behave “differently” from the NORM…whatever the fuck that is. As usual this post is all over the place not making a definitive point about anything in particular…but it’s a post. Class assignment: try and find the Commodores song Zoom…bump it for like a hour and turn in a two paragraph critique of the song…no cheap shots on Lionel’s hair. Jazz...see me after class.
posted by Apocalypse at 9:12 AM
2 Comments:
Well, interesting thoughts. I know that insecurity manifests itself in different ways- promiscuous, overeating, undereating, etc.
I have thought of myself as quite insecure on a number of occasions- and find myself very self aware of it now. I can almost pinpoint every major problem I've had relationship wise to my insecurity.
Size- yeah, well, that's a whole 'nother rant. I am not 'slim'- and neither is my daughter. But we are 'healthy' (as in health, dr wise).....yet people will comment and gasp and talk amongst themselves when they see my 14 year old- and realize she is "only" 14. My goodness, she's taller than me! But still. This society we are in places all your worth, all your value in the world on how you look. It's actually rather sad.
You know,...I never thought of it that way. Being from the south, people (especially family) will say the darndest things to you about WHATEVER! My aunt tells me, 'I need a husband and I need to be married,' just because she thinks it's time. (no kids, not shacking) but it's time.
So you know that she will say things like, "Gurl, look at you? You so pretty and getin' so Fat! (then she turns to other realitives) Look at her lil' fat butt!"
**you smile, think OH PLEASE MAKE IT STOP,and look for any excuse to get away**
My sister developed a complex and wouldn't eat days at a time to keep from getting 'FAT' (which she has seen no parts of)
If someone has kids, I have seen others walk up to say, "GURL, Where yo man?" (assuming marraige or even that the father is present)
It comes in all forms. I guess it's all about, YOU being Cool with YOU, and sometimes that can even get a little tough.
American Society is f-d up!
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